A little truce

Ok, ok, so I went a bit crazy… but I’m over it now. And we’ve even made up. ;-) (Still won’t trust her near anyone I’m keeping on my list of ‘people I’d like to fuck again at some stage’, but ja.. for now we’re mates).

I even went to her batcherlorette bash, but obvs had to give her another pressie. She’s already had enough of my va-jay-jay juice thanks to shagging K.. there’s no need for her to OD on it with a used clit sucker..

This is what I got her:

Clitoisex. Crap name, but it works like a bitch on heat.

Clitoisex. Crap name, but it works like a bitch on heat.

Clitorisex!

Having to get two gifts kinda nailed my wallet, so I like that this is just under two hundred bucks. And it works like a bomb! You just massage it into your clit and vag lips and it immediately starts to tingle. Love how it makes your pussy juice up double time fast – just perfect for quickies in parking lots and stuff. It’s also safe to use with condoms, not like other lubes that will disintergrate your rubber to bits.

So ja.. here’s hoping she has a good time with it – just not with any of my exes! That’s just not cool!

xoxox

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Posted in ♥ My Sex Toys | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Pump up the jam!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

Over the weekend, I found out that a total whore bag as of now ex-friend of mine has been fucking one of my ex boyfriends!!!!!

She was all like ‘but YOU dumped him, Minx.. i didn’t think you’d care..’ I’m like ‘are you fucking mental? It’s NEVER OKAY TO SCREW YOUR FRIENDS EX. LIKE EVER!!!!!!!) Dirty festering cunt!!!! I’m this close to calling up her soon to be hubby (oh yes, she’s getting MARRIED end of this month!!!) and letting him know his almost-wifey thinks it’s okay to get drunk and fuck half of Claremont behind his back. She’s got this whole ‘if he doesn’t catch me, it doesn’t count’ mentality. We’ll here’s hoping she catches fuckin syphallis!!!

OK, rage fit over..

Of course I’ve totally removed the bitch from my cell and now won’t be going to her wedding. (Although it’s tempting to rock up at the church just so I can stand up and scream ‘you fucking dirty whore’ when the minister asks if anyone in the audience has any issues with these two being united in blah blah blah..) But anywayz.. not going has some great benefits. Like I don’t have to buy her an expensive wedding gift anymore or mission to find a dress in my cupboard that isn’t too clubby or slutty. I also get to keep her hens tea gift!!!

Bitches, meet the Advanced Clitoral pump! Fuck me (we’ll I suppose I AM doing that..) it’s awesome!

I vant to suuuck your cunt!!!

I vant to suuuck your cunt!!!

I bought this from Passionfruit (naturally, I get a discount..)

See this sucker? (Ha!) It’s sooo the bizznizz.You hitch it to your clit, pump the handy handle and BAM, he’s clamped onto your love button, pulling all the blood into it to get you as horny as all hell in seconds! It also doesn’t just suck, it VIBRATES too and has three different settings. Of course I like to set it to the fastest speed it can go. It juices up my pussy in seconds, making it easy to slide a dildo, your fingers or whatever you like into your wet, pulsating pussy!

That fucking cunt might have shagged my ex, but now I’m getting up to FOUR (count em bitches, FOUR!!!) orgasms a night. So who’s having the last laugh now? Ha!!!

xoxox

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Loving this hot weather

I’ve been living on the beach and am now a serious shade of bronze. 

Like my pink bikini?

Like my pink bikini?

x0×0x
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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary | 4 Comments

Seeing the NY in with a bang

Soooo my New Year’s was fuckin’ A, with an emphasis on fucking. ;-) ;-) ;-)

As far as old year’s eve is concerned, a bunch of us rocked up at this slammin’ house party in Camps Bay. The hosts had a killer DJ and serious amounts of braai meat and booze. Within no time I was stumbling around drunk in my bikini, drinking white vino out of a paper cup. It was there that I met the most boring Canadian accountant dude, but he was hot, hot, hot!!! With enough dop in me, I could zone out on his dullsville conversation and concentrate on his gorgeous bod.

Just before midnight, he took me down into the garage of the house to show me one of the cars, this fancy Merc thing. I think. I’m not really into cars and I’m not a stupid girl either. I mean like OBVIOUSLY he really wanted to show me his cock – which was nice and BIG. Looooove it!

Also loved how he bent me over the hood of the car, spread my legs and stuck it in me hard. It actually hurt like a bitch for the first two or three thrusts, but I juiced up within seconds and felt my body melt into the bonnet while he held my head down and fucked me like an animal.  

Ooooohhh yeaaaaahhhhh!

We both came fast and then had to hurry back up stairs for the champagne spray as the clock struck 12.

Since then, we saw each other a few times - mostly to eat Nandos, which they don’t have in Canada-land, and get on down. Something’s got to be said for a fiery peri peri tounge in your cunt..

So jaaaaa, it’s been fun, but now he’s gone back to the land of Wolverine. (Did you know that Wolverine is Canadian and not American?) Gotta say I’ll miss his nice, big cock, but glad to be rid of his intensely dull conversations about stocks and world banks and kak.

Anywayz, I gotta run. A friends picking me up and we’re going to go nightswimming in the pool on the roof of her building. This crazy hot weather is KILLING ME!

Later bitches!

Minx

x0×0x

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Happy New Year sexy bitches!

Did you all get a nice piece of ass on old year’s eve? I did.. and look forward to giving up the dirty deets some time tomorrow eve.

Otherwise, I hope this year brings you lots of joy, cash and wild animal style fucking. On a velvet rotating bed. With a billionaire.. He he!

Laterz,

Minx

x0×0x

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary | Tagged | 1 Comment

Seaside bliss

It’s so good to be on holiday, doing a big bunch of fuck all!

yellow-bikini

 

Hope you’re all having a good a time as me!

Minx

x0×0

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Merry fucking Christmas!

minx red thong

I was naughty with a touch of spice..

Here’s hoping you got spoilt, relaxed and got to indulge in lots of Xmas pudding!

See you in the New Year bitches!

Minx

x0×0x

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Ho ho ho!

Left my iPod at my aunts ages ago, so I finally went over there last night to pick it up. She showed me couple of costumes she was gonna stock, but decided not to ‘cos despite being shit quality they were too pricy to make a profit.

41wAEFYQl4L__SS500_

Quite liked this one. Do you?

Moments after this pic was snapped, I fell over ‘cos i wasn’t in my own shoes and fucked my hip up on her ‘Moulan Rouge’ couch. Hope you’re grateful..

xoxo

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Oh shit!

OMFG!

All my friends are talking about the girl who shat herself at that new club, Trinity! Did you hear about it?!! Some bloggers even got pics. Take a look over here – it’s INSANE!

As for me, I also had a kak weekend. Well, in regards to cock stalking anywayz..

I looked – TRUST ME – I looked. I even came close.. zoning in on a total hottie that was a dead ringer for that oke who plays the lead in the new Star Trek movie (forgotten his name) but when I started chatting to him, I had to get outta there at like warp speed. (Scuse the bad joke..) But seriously.. the dude was so stupid he didn’t know that New York was also a state and not just a town. And he thought that that Dewani murderer dude was probably innocent and the poor baby victim of our country ‘framing’ him to make it look like we’re not really a bad place to come visit!!!! So ja, that was a no go..

Still.. that’s all cool ’cos I’ve got a sort of blind date for Wed. My friend’s boet has spotted me on FB and asked her if I’d be his date to his office’s xmas party. He’s quite a hottie, so this could totally work out. And if not at least I’ll get a hot meal out of the deal. ;-P ;-P ;-P

Will let you know how it goes. I’ve now got to re-do my make-up for my shift leaving me with just 10 mins of clit tickling.. Still just lovin my new lipstick vibe..

xoxox

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary, ♥ My Sex Toys | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Fuck me boots!

How awesome is this weather? Spent all morning topless tanning in the garden, so now I’m a perfect all over bronze – just the thing to help me get my man hunt on tonight. Yes boys… I’m going out and it’s been a while; so I plan on finding the hottest piece of cock in the club and drag him back to my flat for a full on fuckfest! (How’s that for hectic alliteration?)

My aunt got new stock in the other day – lots of ’whore clothes’ as I call them. I tried on these hotties (see below) and she reckons I should wear them out tonight.

heels

I dunno so much. They a bit outta line with my good girl disguise. Think it might be best to store them under my bed and pull on something sweet and innocent instead. Then, when I get my man back in my lair I can blow him AND my cover..

Laterz bitches!

xoxo

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Ass Juices

Spotted in Bo-Kaap…

Unfortunately the shop was closed (pubic holiday) otherwise I would have pulled in for some fresh ass juice ;-)

Untitled

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary | 1 Comment

Ag shame

To the dude who sent me this:

7q92wk5u4osb

May I recommend this?

x0×0

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary | 8 Comments

Grossness!

So as it turns out, hot old dude is a total creepster. (For the record, I read all your comments and agreed with you – and then he went and proved his full on creepyness to the nth degree and I was like ‘cool, good to get total confirmation’..)

Basically, he went mental with texting me – sending me TWENTY THREE texts in one evening while I was working and only saw the results when I got into my car after my shift. My cell was like a minedump awash with shit like this:

Hey, so what are you doing?

It’s so hot, you should come over and we can play in the sprinkler. Ha.

It’s really hot. So you should be naked.

You there?

I think you should get naked right now.

I’m having a shower and thinking of you.

What are you doing? Wanna come over and take a shower with me?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I was too tired to bother responding to all that, so I was like Fuck this, will deal with it in the morning.. And then, the next day, before I’d even opened up my eyes, I hear my phone beeping under my pillow.. ‘What you doing?’

Was soooo annoyed I snatched up my cell and replied: For real? Just fuck off!

Haven’t heard a peep out of him since and am super glad. Phew!

Anywayz, I’m seeing K later this week and I totally don’t want to say anything to her about any of this. I just want us to carry on like nothing happened. Do you think that’s okay? Cos I mean what would the point be in telling her that her dad is like this total stalker perv? It would only upset her right? And it’s not like she’s going to find out from him, surely?

Dunno. Somehow not telling her just feels like the right thing.

Laterz,

Minx

x0×0x

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary | 5 Comments

Old dude dilema!!!

Eeeeeeee! I don’t know what to do!!!

I have a newish friend, K. She’s cool. Love that she’s not afraid to cut her own hair and likes all the types of sushi that I don’t. (This means we can share big platters with zero dramz). I also like that she’s not a size five, so she doesn’t ask to borrow my shoes every fucking weekend like some other bitch friend of mine.. But whatevs.. Lets talk about the little dilema I find myself in..

Went to a pool party at her dad’s place the other day and what do you know - he’s a total ‘old dude’ hottie. Like Richard Gere before he got tooo old. YUM!

Now of course, being me, I flirted with him like a bitch on heat, telling him he’d ‘missed a spot!’ while cleaning leaves out of the pool and asking stuff like ‘Aren’t you hot? You should really take that shirt off..’ Totally enjoyed fucking with him and then, once I’d gotten my bronze on, I buggered off, thinking nothing of it.

Anywayz… last night I got this SMS:

What you doing pretty girl?

And I was like whatever and just ignored it. Thought it was some random from my college.

Then another one came through: How’s that sunburn? Want me to rub some ice on your tits?

WHAT! THE! FUCK!

So I called the number – wanting to see who was being so fucking brazen – and lo and behold it’s K’s dad!!!!! He was all like, ‘yeah, it’s me.. what’s up with you. When you gonna come round and tan again?’

I wall like, ’Did K give you my number?’ and he told me her found it on her phone. Then he asked me to be his date for his office party!!! Can you freakin’ believe it? He was sooo nonchalant, acting like this was something he did every day. Just call up the girls on his baby girls cell and ask them out. (For the record, he’s divorced. But still.. it’s so.. weird!)

Shamefully, I didn’t say no outright. I just told him I might be working on that eve and would let him know by the end of the week after I had a look at the shift list. I usually wouldn’t think twice about jumping anyone that got my pussy flexing, but HE’S MY FRIEND’S DAD! 

Hmm.. Am seeing K tomorrow after college. Don’t quite know whether I should tell her what’s going on – ‘cos if I do decide to ride old ‘Richard’, I’d rather her not know about it. (It’ll only be a brief affair for sure..) And if I don’t, should I let her know she might want to get a password protected lock on her cell.

FUCK.

Any advice?

x0×0

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary, ♥ My Sex Toys | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Pretty good vibrations

So HH and I left the SEXPO and got to the car…

While he was busy trying to prise the Roxette mix tape that I’d jammed in his sound system (don’t ask!), I got bored and whipped out the lipstick vibe. I had fun, sticking it into his ear and neck, watching him scream like a girl. (For such a little thing, it gives off a really rad, hard vibe..)

After I got in a good few lippie pokes, he ripped it from my hands and shoved it between my legs, thinking it would make me squeal or squirm.. but actually, it felt great! So, to really show him how his little revenge move had totally backfired, I pulled my skirt up and pressed up against the vibe, trying to angle it against my clit. (Naturally, I wasn’t weaing any panties..)

HH was so impressed with my cute hairless little cunt (hey, it’s summer – time to try a new look), that it only took him like two seconds to  flip down the seats and do a face plant into my pussy. His hot, wet, hard tongue slid inside me in a flash and I felt it juice up within a minute.

It felt sooo fucking good (it’s been a while) and I didn’t think it could get any better, but that’s when he took the lipstick vibe and pressed it up against my clit.

O!

M!

F!

G!

Then, while buzzing away with ease, he sucked and licked and probed at my cunt with his tongue.. Flicking, licking, lapping, nibbling.. HH fucked me with his mouth. And then, just like that, I experienced a knee shaking orgasm and came all over his face!

Fuck! It felt sooo good!

After that, I simply had to return the favour – but I can’t tell you about that now.. I got to take my pasta off the stove.

So, laterz darlings..

Minx

xoxox

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Posted in ♥ My Dirty Diary, ♥ My Sex Toys | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments
    • www.passionfruit.co.za
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