Soooo.. you want my dirty little story, eh? (Minx rubs hands together with evil glee..) Ok, here it goes..

I cleaned up that vibey little bullet good and proper, popped it in a little gift bag and took it to D’s b-day party. (She opened it up in front of everyone and got all embarassed and it was very cute and all..)

But my consciounce started to get the better of me.. I was thinking about all the stuff you’d written in the comments section – about bad sex karma - and starting to feel bad. So, eventually, after terrible mix of Jagerbombs and (liters and liters of) champagne, I pulled her aside and confessed that I’d given it ‘a little test drive’ beforehand..

I expected her to be a bit shocked or at least surprised – but instead, it TOTALLY TURNED HER ON!!!

She was like OMG! What was it like? Was it awesome? Will you show me how to use it?

Now I knooooow I’m supposed to be finding a new man to fuck around with, but bitch is hot! So I couldn’t help myself. Also, it would’ve made me a bad friend not to pull the sucker out, stick it in her warm, wet pussy and give her a solid How’s your mother?!! I mean, it was the girls birthday, for fuck’s sake! So, that’s how we ended up. In her bedroom, with me rubbing the bullet all over her clit, while she squirmed around next to her crumpled up satin and lace La Senza panties. (You should have hearrrrrd how much noise she made! I’d never have taken D for a screamer!)

Anywayz… so she’s moaning and groaning and writhing around.. the bullets now right up inside of her and I’ve got my face between her thighs, tongueing her clit.. the whole thing is like a total porn scene and IN WALKS HER BOYFRIEND!

Shamefully, my first thought was ‘rad – 3some!’, but as it turns out, dude’s as straight edge as you can get and was HORRIFIED. He was like ‘What the hell are you doing?!!!’

D immediately sat up bolt upright and shoved me off of her. I start laughing. There’s this major awkward pause. Eventually I was like ‘D stuck a bullet in her and it got stuck. I was helping her get it out..’, but was laughing so much I could barely speak. Dude’s like screaming ‘It’s not funny! It’s not fucking funny!!!’ and slammed the door and ran away..

D starts crying, pulls her skirt down and runs after him.

Me? I’m left sitting on the bed next to the STILL VIBING BULLET. 

Fuck! My! Life!

Anywayz, I would write more, but I’ve got to get to my shift. Will have to let you know how things have wrapped up later.

Cheers bitches!~

Minx

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